Trans Men and Homosexuality

Can you be a trans man and gay? The answer is simple: yes. But the fact that this question is asked so often reveals something important about how much confusion still exists between gender identity and sexual orientation — two dimensions of human experience that are fundamentally independent of one another [9].

A trans man is a man. If he is attracted to other men, he is gay. Just like any other man attracted to men. Yet, for many gay trans men, this obvious reality clashes daily with stereotypes, misunderstandings, and invisibility. This article explores what it means to live at the intersection of two often-misunderstood identities, backed by data, research, and real-world context.

Gender identity and sexual orientation: two different things

Let’s start with the fundamental concept: gender identity is about who you are, while sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to. They are separate dimensions. A cisgender man can be straight, gay, bisexual, or queer. Exactly the same applies to a trans man.

The guidelines of the American Psychological Association (APA, 2015) for psychological practice with transgender and gender nonconforming people explicitly emphasize this independence: gender identity and sexual orientation are distinct constructs [9]. A transgender person can have any sexual orientation. The assumption that a trans person must necessarily be heterosexual — or that transition is motivated by sexual orientation — is a persistent myth that is not supported by research.

For decades, the dominant narrative assumed that trans men were “former lesbians” who transitioned in order to have heterosexual relationships with women. This view is deeply reductive and, above all, incorrect for a significant portion of the trans masculine population. The study by Bockting, Benner, and Coleman (2009) was among the first to systematically document the existence and experiences of trans men attracted to men, highlighting the emergence of a transgender sexuality that does not fit into traditional binary models [4].

The numbers: how many trans men are gay?

Data shows a diversity of sexual orientations among trans men that shatters any monolithic stereotype.

The 2022 U.S. Transgender Survey, with over 92,000 participants, represents the largest collection of data on the lives of transgender people ever conducted [8]. Among trans men, the data confirms a remarkable heterogeneity in sexual orientations: about 20% identify as gay or same-gender loving, while over 50% identify as bisexual, pansexual, or queer. Only a minority define themselves as exclusively straight [8].

A 2023 study published in BMC Public Health, which specifically analyzed sexual orientation in the US transgender population, confirmed this diversity [1]. The most frequently reported sexual identities among transgender people were “bisexual” (18.9%), “queer” (18.1%), and “straight” (17.6%), with 70% of trans adults considering themselves lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer [1].

Research by Katz-Wise and colleagues (2016) added another layer of complexity, documenting that 58.2% of trans men reported attractions to three or more partner genders [5]. The same study found that 64.6% of trans people who had undertaken medical transition experienced changes in sexual orientation post-transition, suggesting that the gender affirmation journey can open up spaces to explore previously repressed or unexplored sexuality [5].

Auer and colleagues’ (2014) study, published in PLOS ONE, also documented that 22.2% of trans men reported a change in sexual orientation over the course of their transition [6]. This does not mean that transition “causes” a change in orientation, but rather that many trans people, freeing themselves from dysphoria and finally living in the correct gender, are able to explore their sexuality with greater freedom and authenticity.

Coming out three times: the unique journey of gay trans men

For many gay trans men, the identity journey involves multiple coming outs. Before understanding their gender identity, many identify as lesbians or queer women. After coming out as trans men, they have to face a new coming out related to sexual orientation: this time as gay.

A 2020 study published in Culture, Health and Sexuality deeply explored this process by interviewing young trans men sexually active with cisgender men [3]. Participants described an intricate path: as children, they felt “different” but had no role models — the representation of gay trans men was practically nonexistent. Many first developed a sexual identity as queer women, only to go through a second identity transition when they realized they were men [3].

“I had completely ignored my sexuality… that was an issue to deal with at another time” — this direct quote from the study captures a common experience: many trans men put the exploration of their sexual orientation on hold during their gender transition, focusing first on affirming their male identity [3]. Only later, often after years, do they allow themselves to address the issue of their attraction to other men.

This multiple journey makes the experience of gay trans men unique and, in some ways, more complex. Each coming out brings a new level of vulnerability and the need to renegotiate relationships, spaces, and communities of belonging.

Navigating gay spaces: acceptance and barriers

One of the central themes in the lives of gay trans men concerns their position within the gay male community. Are they accepted? Do they find space? The answer, as often happens, is nuanced.

A study by Scheim, Adam, and Marshall (2019), published in the journal Sexualities, interviewed 40 gay, bisexual, and queer trans men in Ontario, Canada, analyzing how they navigate “sexual fields” — the physical and virtual spaces where they seek male partners [2]. The results highlighted clear distinctions between different spaces: participants clearly distinguished between “gay spaces” (bars, bathhouses, events) and “queer spaces” (alternative venues, cultural events, online communities), and the choice between the two was strongly influenced by their level of medical transition and their ability to “pass” as cisgender men [2].

Trans men who had completed a medical transition (testosterone hormone therapy, potential mastectomy) reported easier access and acceptance in traditional gay spaces [2]. Those at an earlier stage of their journey, or those who chose not to pursue medical transition, tended to feel more welcomed in queer spaces, where a diversity of bodies and identities was more normalized.

Dating apps represent another negotiation ground. Grindr, the most well-known app for gay men, added options in 2017 to indicate gender identities like “trans man” and custom pronouns, after consulting 5,500 trans users and the National Center for Transgender Equality. This inclusion was significant, but the experience of trans men on the platform remains ambivalent: some report positive and normalizing interactions, while others complain of invasive questions, fetishization, or explicit rejection.

Masculinity and trans men: challenging and redefining

The issue of masculinity is particularly relevant for gay trans men, who find themselves at the intersection of two social pressures: the pressure to “prove” their masculinity as trans men, and the pressure to navigate the masculinity codes of gay culture.

Baker A. Rogers’ (2022) research, published in Men and Masculinities, explored how trans men understand and perform masculinity [7]. One of the most interesting findings concerns the additional pressure trans men perceive: not only do they have to conform to societal expectations of masculinity, but they have to do so more markedly to compensate for the hypothetical “lack” of a body assigned male at birth [7]. This pressure intensifies in gay spaces, where aesthetic standards of the male body can represent a further source of discomfort.

At the same time, many gay trans men report a more conscious and intentional relationship with masculinity compared to cisgender men. Having had to reflect deeply on their gender identity, they have often developed a critical understanding of what it means to “be a man” that goes beyond stereotypes [7]. Some reject toxic masculinity; others embrace expressions of traditional masculinity that represent a gender affirmation for them. There is no single “right” way to be a gay trans man.

Dating as a gay trans man

Dating as a gay trans man presents specific challenges that add to the already known challenges of trans dating in general.

The issue of disclosure — when and how to communicate being trans — takes on particular contours in the context of gay male dating. A trans man dating cisgender gay men must decide not only when to reveal his identity but must also prepare for reactions ranging from enthusiastic acceptance to abrupt rejection, passing through inappropriate curiosity and fetishization.

Participants in Scheim and colleagues’ (2019) study described different strategies: some immediately stated they were trans in their app profiles to filter contacts; others waited until they had established a connection before disclosing; still others chose not to reveal their trans history at all, especially if their physical appearance didn’t make it obvious [2]. Each strategy carried different advantages and risks.

A recurring theme is T4T (trans for trans), which is the preference of many trans men for relationships with other trans people. In these relationships, the shared understanding of the trans experience eliminates the need for disclosure, explanations, and continuous negotiations. For some gay trans men, relationships with other trans men represent a space of intimacy and emotional safety that is hard to find elsewhere.

Still a lack of visibility

Compared to trans women, trans men are historically less represented in media, popular culture, and even scientific research. Gay trans men are even less visible, a double invisibility that has concrete consequences.

The lack of role models profoundly affects identity development. As documented by the 2020 research on trans men who have relationships with cisgender men, many participants described years of confusion and isolation caused by the total absence of representations of gay trans men during childhood and adolescence [3]. Without role models, many took years longer to understand and accept their identity.

In recent years, visibility has been slowly increasing. Actors like Elliot Page, who came out as a trans man in 2020, have helped make trans masculinity more visible, even though Page has not publicly spoken about his sexual orientation in terms of specific labels. On social media, a growing community of gay trans men shares experiences, advice, and stories, creating the role models that previous generations lacked.

However, visibility remains highly imbalanced. In TV series, films, and literature, gay trans men are still rarely represented. When they are, their transness is often treated as the sole narrative element, without exploring the complexity of their sexual and romantic lives.

The Italian context

In Italy, the situation of gay trans men reflects the general dynamics of the trans community in the country, with some specificities.

The portal Infotrans.it, the first European institutional portal dedicated to transgender people, created by the National Institute of Health (ISS) and UNAR (National Office Against Racial Discrimination), offers a map of services and associations supporting trans people across the national territory [12]. Among these, MIT (Movimento Identità Trans), founded in 1979, is the first and longest-running Italian association for trans rights.

European data confirms that trans people in Italy, as in the rest of the European Union, face significant levels of discrimination. The FRA (European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights, 2014) report documented that trans people report the highest levels of discrimination, harassment, and violence among all LGBT subgroups [10]. TGEU’s (Transgender Europe) analysis based on the 2019 FRA survey confirmed that this disparity persists, with trans people experiencing higher levels of victimization even compared to cisgender lesbian, gay, and bisexual people [11].

For Italian gay trans men, these challenges compound in a country where gender identity is not included in anti-discrimination laws and where the Zan Bill (DDL Zan), which would have extended protections, was rejected by the Senate in 2021. The lack of specific legislative protection means that a trans man who faces discrimination both as trans and as gay finds himself doubly exposed.

The social context varies significantly across different areas of the country. Cities like Milan, Bologna, Rome, and Turin offer more structured and visible LGBTQ+ communities with dedicated spaces where gay trans men can find acceptance. In many other areas, especially in smaller towns, isolation remains a concrete reality.

A positive element of the Italian context is the presence of a network of associations — Arcigay, MIT, Agedo, and many local groups — that provide support, listening groups, and spaces for socializing. For a gay trans man living in an unwelcoming environment, these resources can represent a fundamental starting point.

Mental health and support

Living at the intersection of multiple marginalized identities carries a specific stress load. Research documents that transgender people who also belong to a sexual minority — like gay trans men — can experience what is known as “intersectional minority stress,” stemming from discrimination on multiple fronts.

This does not mean that being a gay trans man is inherently a source of suffering. The stress does not come from the identity itself, but from the social environment that stigmatizes, discriminates, and invisibilizes. Protective factors identified by research include social support (having a network of people who accept and affirm one’s identity), a sense of community belonging, and access to competent and affirming mental health professionals.

The APA (2015) guidelines recommend that mental health professionals recognize the diversity of sexual orientations in trans people and do not make assumptions about sexuality based on gender identity [9]. This is a crucial point: a trans man seeking a psychologist should be able to talk about his experience as a gay man without first having to “justify” the combination of the two identities.

Resources and community

Associations and services in Italy

• Infotrans.it — Portal by the National Institute of Health and UNAR with information, a map of services, and associations [12]. Website: infotrans.it
• MIT (Movimento Identità Trans) — The first Italian association for trans rights. Website: mit-italia.it
• Arcigay — National association with local chapters all over Italy
• Agedo — Support for families and loved ones of LGBTQ+ people
• Gay Help Line: 800 713 713 — National toll-free number, active Monday to Saturday (16:00-20:00)
• Telefono Amico Italia: 02 2327 2327 — Active every day (9:00-00:00)

Online communities

Online communities represent an important resource, especially for those living in areas with few local resources. Social media groups dedicated to Italian trans men offer spaces for discussion, sharing experiences, and peer support. For many gay trans men, these communities were the first place they found confirmation that their identity exists and is valid.

Being a trans man and gay: a reality, not a contradiction

Being a trans man and gay is not a contradiction, a paradox, or an exception. It is one of the many possible combinations of gender identity and sexual orientation — combinations that scientific research amply documents and that the lived experience of thousands of people confirms every day [1].

The confusion stems from a cultural model that rigidly links the sex assigned at birth, gender identity, and sexual orientation in “predictable” combinations. But human experience is more varied and richer than any model. A gay trans man does not need to justify his existence: science documents it [9], international clinical guidelines recognize it, and the community celebrates it.

If you are a trans man exploring your attraction to other men, know that you are not alone. Your identity is valid, your sexuality is yours, and there are communities — online and offline, in Italy and around the world — ready to welcome you. If you are a cisgender person trying to understand, the very fact that you are reading this article is a good sign. Understanding starts with listening, and listening starts with the curiosity of someone who wants to learn about experiences different from their own.