Inclusive language for trans people

Words matter. Not in a rhetorical sense, but in a measurable one. A 2018 study from the University of Texas at Austin (Russell et al.) demonstrated that the use of a transgender person’s chosen name across different contexts — home, school, work, friendships — is associated with a 34% reduction in suicidal ideation, a 65% reduction in suicide attempts, and a 71% reduction in severe depressive symptoms [1]. This is not optional kindness: the language we use to talk about and with trans people has a direct impact on their health.

While the original Italian version of this article focused extensively on the challenges of Italian — a deeply gendered language where every noun, adjective, and past participle carries a masculine or feminine ending — English presents its own set of considerations. The singular “they” has been in use for centuries and is now widely accepted as a gender-neutral pronoun, but challenges remain in everyday practice.

This guide explores the tools of inclusive language: from pronouns to chosen names, from deadnaming to misgendering, and inclusive language in professional and institutional settings.

Pronouns: he, she, they

Pronouns are the most direct way language recognizes — or denies — a person’s identity. In English, the main third-person pronouns are he/him, she/her, and they/them.

The options in use

• He/him and she/her: most binary trans people (trans men and trans women) use the pronoun corresponding to their gender identity. A trans man uses he, a trans woman uses she. It is the simplest situation and requires only attention and respect.

• They/them: many non-binary people use they/them as singular pronouns. The singular “they” has a long history in English — it was used by Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and countless others. In 2019, Merriam-Webster added the singular “they” as a pronoun for people who identify as non-binary.

• Neopronouns: some people use neopronouns such as ze/hir, xe/xem, or ey/em. While less common, these are valid choices that should be respected when someone shares them.

• No pronouns: some people prefer that their name be used directly instead of any pronoun. Instead of “They arrive tomorrow,” one would say “Alex arrives tomorrow.”

How to know which pronouns to use

The rule is simple: ask. A “What pronouns do you use?” is appropriate, respectful, and appreciated. The APA 2015 guidelines for practice with transgender people explicitly recommend that professionals ask for name and pronouns rather than assuming a person’s gender based on their appearance [6].

If you do not have the opportunity to ask directly — for example, because you are talking about a public figure you do not know — look for information about the pronouns that person uses in their profiles or public statements. When in doubt, use their name.

Chosen names and deadnaming

The chosen name is the name by which a trans person identifies, which may differ from the name on their birth certificate. Deadnaming consists of using a trans person’s previous legal name (called a deadname), whether intentionally or through carelessness.

Why deadnaming is harmful

The study by Russell et al. (2018) quantified the impact of using a person’s chosen name. When the chosen name is respected in all four main contexts (home, school, work, friendships), transgender youth show significant reductions in depression, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts compared to those who cannot use their name in any context [1].

The GLAAD Media Reference Guide specifies that a trans person’s previous name should never be used, not even to refer to the person’s past [4]. Writing or saying “When they used to be called…” invalidates the person’s identity and communicates the message that their current identity is less authentic than the previous one.

Practical rules

• Always use the chosen name, even when talking about the person’s past. “When Marcus was young…” is correct, even if at the time Marcus had a different name.
• Do not ask for the deadname out of curiosity. If the person wants to share this information, they will do so voluntarily.
• If you learn someone’s deadname, do not use it and do not share it with others. Revealing a person’s deadname is a form of outing.
• Update your contacts, group chats, emails, and any other references to the old name as soon as possible.

Misgendering: what it is and what it causes

Misgendering consists of attributing to a person a gender different from the one they identify with — through incorrect pronouns, titles, or references. In English, common forms of misgendering include using “he” for a trans woman, “she” for a trans man, or refusing to use singular “they” for a non-binary person.

The impact of misgendering

A 2023 study published in the International Journal of Transgender Health analyzed the frequency and consequences of misgendering on non-binary people in Canada. The results show that frequent misgendering is associated with significantly higher levels of depression, anxiety, and psychological stress [2]. Fifty-nine percent of non-binary people in the sample were misgendered daily [2]. This is not a matter of “excessive sensitivity”: it is a repeated experience with a cumulative weight documented by research.

The 2024 Trevor Project survey confirms this finding indirectly: fewer than half of transgender and non-binary youth (46%) report that most people in their lives use the correct pronouns [10].

How to correct yourself

You will make mistakes. Everyone does, especially at the beginning or when they have known a person from before their transition. The point is not to never make a mistake, but how you handle the error.

GLAAD recommends a three-step approach [5]:

1. Correct yourself right away. “He said that — sorry, she said that she arrives at three.”
2. Do not dramatize. Avoid prolonged apologies, justifications, or explanations about how difficult it is for you. This shifts the attention from the trans person to you, putting them in the position of having to comfort you.
3. Commit to improving. Practice in private. Tell an anecdote about the person using the correct name and pronouns. Repetition creates automatism.

If you realize you misgendered someone in their absence, correct yourself anyway. This signals to others that correct pronouns matter even when the person is not present.

Pronouns in different languages

While English has the advantage of the singular “they,” many other languages face unique challenges when it comes to gender-neutral language.

In Italian, the language is deeply gendered, with every noun, adjective, and past participle carrying masculine or feminine endings. Solutions include the schwa (ə), the asterisk (), and sentence rephrasing. A 2023 study in theJournal of LGBTQ+ Mental Health* examined the schwa as a non-gender-specific ending in Italian, finding potential as a tool for linguistic inclusion [3].

In Spanish, the “-e” ending (e.g., “amigue” instead of “amigo/amiga”) and the “-x” ending (e.g., “Latinx”) have been proposed as gender-neutral alternatives.

In French, proposals include “iel” as a gender-neutral pronoun and inclusive writing with middle dots (e.g., “ami.e.s”).

In German, the Gender Star (Gendersternchen, e.g., “Leser*innen”) and the colon (e.g., “Leser:innen”) are used.

These varying approaches demonstrate that the push for inclusive language is global, with each language community developing solutions adapted to its linguistic structure.

Common mistakes and how to avoid them

Here is a list of frequent errors in the language used to talk about and with trans people, with the relevant corrections.

Incorrect terminology

• “A trans” or “a transgender”: trans is an adjective, not a noun. Say “a trans person”, “a trans man”, “a trans woman”. The GLAAD Media Reference Guide emphasizes that using “trans” as a noun reduces a person’s entire identity to a single characteristic [4].

• “Transsexual”: this term is considered outdated by many people and organizations [4]. The preferred term is “transgender” or simply “trans”. However, some people — especially of an older generation — continue to identify as transsexual, and their choice should be respected.

• “Real man” / “real woman”: implies that trans people are not really men or women. A trans man is a man. A trans woman is a woman. Adding “real” or “biological” as a qualifier suggests their identity is less authentic.

• “Born a man/woman”: the correct phrasing is “assigned male/female at birth”, because sex is not chosen by the person but is attributed based on the observation of genitalia at the time of birth [6].

Constructions to avoid

• “Used to be a man and is now a woman”: a trans woman has always been a woman. She did not change gender: she made her identity visible and recognized. Better: “She is a trans woman” or “She was assigned male at birth.”

• “The surgery”: not all trans people undertake surgical procedures, and there is no single surgery that defines transition. Additionally, asking about surgical procedures is invasive, exactly as it would be with a cisgender person [4].

• “Gender choice”: gender identity is not a choice. The American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the major international medical associations agree that gender identity is an intrinsic component of the person, with biological foundations documented by research [6].

Quick reference guide

For those who want a practical summary, here are the fundamental rules:

Always do:

• Use the name chosen by the person, in every context
• Use the requested pronouns (he, she, they, or no pronouns)
• Ask “What pronouns do you use?” when you are not sure
• Correct yourself quickly and without drama if you make a mistake
• Practice in private with the correct name and pronouns

Do not:

• Do not use the deadname, not even when talking about the past
• Do not ask “What was your name before?” out of curiosity
• Do not use “trans” as a noun
• Do not ask about surgical procedures or genitals
• Do not assume a person’s gender from their appearance
• Do not out someone as trans without their permission

When speaking to groups:

• Use gender-neutral formulations (“the team,” “participants,” “everyone”)
• Add your pronouns in your email signature and professional profiles
• If making introductions, normalize sharing pronouns: “I’m Alex, I use they/them”

Beyond grammar

Inclusive language is not exhausted by grammar. It is an attitude concerning the way we talk about trans people in everyday conversation, in the media, in politics, and in education.

Using respectful language also means not reducing trans people to their transition, not treating their identity as a debate topic on which to “hear both sides,” and not presenting their existence as a controversial issue. The APA guidelines recommend “depersonalizing” differences and treating transgender identities with the same naturalness as cisgender identities [6].

The data speak clearly: words have measurable consequences. The Russell et al. study shows that a simple gesture like using the correct name can drastically reduce suicidal risk [1]. The 2024 Trevor Project survey confirms that social support — of which language is a fundamental component — is the strongest protective factor for the mental health of transgender people [10].

You do not need to master every nuance of the linguistic debate. You need to call people by the name they ask for, use the pronouns they prefer, and correct yourself when you make a mistake. Inclusive language, in its most essential form, is this: recognizing people for who they are.