Attraction to trans women

If you are reading this article, you have probably asked yourself a question that many men ask but few have the courage to say out loud: “Why am I attracted to trans women?” Maybe you felt attraction to a trans woman in real life, maybe online, maybe while watching adult content. And right after the attraction, another feeling arrived: confusion, embarrassment, maybe shame.

This article exists to tell you something clearly before anything else: there is nothing wrong with you. Attraction to trans women is a documented variant of human sexuality. But there is an enormous difference between healthy attraction and objectification, and understanding it is important both for you and for the trans women you might meet. Let us start with the data.

Yes, it is normal

Science says so without ambiguity. A study by Hsu and colleagues published in 2016 in Psychological Medicine analyzed a sample of men attracted to transgender women, defining this attraction with the technical term “gynandromorphophilia” [1]. The results showed that these men displayed levels of attraction toward cisgender women comparable to those of the control group, and responded sexually to stimuli involving women, not men [1]. The researchers’ conclusion was direct: this attraction is best understood as an unusual variant of heterosexuality, not as a separate sexual orientation [1].

In other words: if you are a man and you are attracted to a trans woman, you are a man attracted to a woman. It is not more complicated than that.

The problem is not the attraction. The problem is that we live in a society that does not yet have adequate language to talk about it, and in the absence of language, the void is filled with stigma, jokes, and pornographic categories.

Your sexual orientation does not change

This is one of the most widespread fears: “If I am attracted to a trans woman, am I gay?” No. Sexual orientation is about the gender of the people you are attracted to, not their anatomy. Trans women are women. A man attracted to a trans woman is attracted to a woman.

A study from the University of California Riverside published in 2022 investigated what happens when cisgender heterosexual men experience attraction to transgender women [11]. The researchers found that this attraction generates a perception of “sexual norm violation” — not because the attraction is actually anomalous, but because social norms label it as such. The response, in many cases, is a compensatory mechanism: men who perceive this violation tend to increase their anti-gay attitudes, as if to prove to themselves and others that “they are not gay” [11]. It is a defense mechanism, not a truth about their sexuality.

The study by Weinberg and Williams published in the Journal of Sex Research in 2010 examined men sexually interested in trans women and confirmed that the vast majority identified as heterosexual or bisexual, and that their interest was rooted in the feminine appearance of trans women, not in masculine characteristics [3].

How attraction works: what science says

Sexual attraction is a complex phenomenon involving biological, psychological, and cultural factors. There is no single mechanism that explains why one person is attracted to another. Research shows that attraction to trans women falls within the same spectrum as heterosexual attraction, with some specificities.

The role of femininity

Studies of men attracted to trans women consistently show that what drives the attraction is perceived femininity. In the Hsu et al. (2016) study, participants responded sexually to stimuli featuring feminine bodies and did not show arousal to masculine stimuli [1]. The attraction is not “to trans” as an abstract category: it is to a specific person, with an appearance, a personality, a way of being in the world.

Attraction is not a choice

As with any other form of sexual attraction, you do not choose to be attracted to trans women. You discover that you are. And this discovery can generate confusion only because society does not offer a framework for understanding it. If the same society recognized trans women simply as women — which they are — attraction to them would not require any special explanation.

Attraction and fetishism: the difference that matters

Here we arrive at the most important point of this article. There is a clear line between being attracted to a trans woman and being attracted to the idea that someone is trans. The first is attraction. The second is fetishism.

What is trans fetishism

A 2021 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior interviewed 142 transgender and nonbinary people about their experiences of fetishization [4]. Over half reported being fetishized, describing it as a negative experience of sexual objectification. Participants described situations where they were treated “like a sex toy, as if being transgender was simply for someone else’s enjoyment” [4].

Fetishization manifests in recognizable ways:

• Fixation on genitals: the interest is exclusively in the trans woman’s anatomy, not in the person
• Invasive curiosity: questions about the body, procedures, and sexuality, posed as a prerequisite for any interaction
• Imposed secrecy: wanting to see a trans woman only in private, never introducing her to friends or family
• Dehumanizing language: using terms like “shemale,” “tranny,” or other slurs as if they were erotic categories
• Interchangeability: treating trans women as interchangeable with one another, as if “trans” were the only relevant characteristic

What is healthy attraction

Healthy attraction toward a trans woman works like attraction toward any other person:

• You are interested in who she is, not just what she is
• You see her as a whole person, not as a body or a category
• You do not need to hide her
• Her being trans is a part of her, not the only part you are interested in
• You ask yourself how to make her feel good, not just how to satisfy your curiosity

The fundamental difference is simple: in attraction, the other person is a subject. In fetishism, she is an object.

The role of pornography

You cannot talk about attraction to trans women without addressing the elephant in the room: pornography. For many men, the first contact with the reality of trans women happens through adult content, and this creates a serious perception problem.

The numbers

According to Pornhub data, in 2022 the “transgender” category grew by 75%, becoming the seventh most popular worldwide and the third in Italy [10]. In 2025, it became the second most watched category globally, with an additional 58% increase. These numbers indicate an obvious reality: sexual interest in trans women is extremely widespread.

The problem with pornography

The problem is not that trans pornography exists. The problem is that for many people it represents the only window into the world of trans women. And pornography, by its nature, does not portray people: it portrays bodies and acts. Trans pornography, in particular, tends to focus obsessively on genitals, use degrading language, and present trans women as objects of exotic curiosity.

When pornography is the only source of information, it risks creating a dangerous equation in the viewer’s mind: trans woman equals sexualized body, trans woman equals fantasy, trans woman equals something to consume in secret. This equation is false, and it is harmful to trans women who seek authentic relationships and find themselves inundated by messages that reduce them to a pornographic category.

Beyond the screen

If your attraction to trans women was born or fueled by pornography, there is nothing to be ashamed of. But it is important to take a step forward: recognize that the trans women you see in pornography are a partial and distorted representation, and that trans women in real life are people with stories, desires, vulnerabilities, and expectations like anyone else.

The stigma: where the shame comes from

If you feel shame about your attraction, know that the shame does not come from you. It comes from a social context that stigmatizes relationships with trans people.

Interpersonal stigma

A study by Gamarel and colleagues in 2019 analyzed 191 couples composed of trans women and cisgender men, measuring the impact of interpersonal stigma on the mental health of both partners [6]. The results showed that frequent experiences of stigma were associated with elevated levels of psychological distress for both the trans women and their partners [6]. Stigma does not only affect the trans person: it affects anyone who stands beside them.

Why men hide their attraction

The study by Blair and Hoskin (2019) showed that 87.5% of people interviewed would not consider dating a trans person [2]. Heterosexual cisgender men were among the most likely to exclude trans people from their romantic horizon. The researchers suggested that this exclusion reflects not so much a lack of attraction, but a fear of social consequences: being judged, mocked, having their masculinity questioned [2].

Extended minority stress

Testa and colleagues (2015) developed the Gender Minority Stress and Resilience Measure, an instrument that measures the specific stress experienced by transgender people [8]. This stress includes discrimination, victimization, rejection, internalized transphobia, and expectations of rejection. A critical review by White Hughto, Reisner, and Pachankis (2016) documented how this stress extends to relationships, creating a climate in which even the cisgender partner can experience a form of stigma by association [9].

The shame that many men feel about their attraction is, in essence, internalized transphobia. It does not come from something genuinely wrong, but from the fear of what others would think if they knew. Recognizing this mechanism is the first step toward freeing yourself from it.

“Chasers”: when attraction becomes predatory

The term “chaser” (literally “pursuer”) is used by trans communities to describe men who actively seek out trans women with an approach that the women themselves perceive as fetishizing, objectifying, or predatory.

What a chaser does

Robinson (2023) analyzed over 200 Reddit posts written by cisgender heterosexual men discussing their attraction to trans women [5]. The study coined the concept of “transamorous misogyny”: a paradoxical process in which desire for trans women is expressed through contempt for all women. These men tended to describe trans women as “better than cisgender women” in terms of submissiveness, sexual availability, and conformity to a hyperfeminine ideal [5]. They did not see them as people: they saw them as “improved” versions of an object.

The impact on trans women

A 2022 study by Ussher and colleagues on the experiences of sexual violence among trans women of color documented how fetishization constitutes a form of sexual violence in its own right [12]. The trans women interviewed described situations where personal boundaries were systematically ignored, where refusal generated violent reactions, and where their bodies were treated as territory to be explored without consent [12].

Chaser behavior does not only harm the individual trans women who are targeted. It creates an environment in which trans women struggle to trust any man who shows interest in them, because they must constantly ask themselves: “Is he attracted to me or to the idea of me?”

Are you a chaser? An honest question

If you are worried about being labeled a “chaser,” the worry itself is probably a good sign. Chasers, in general, do not ask themselves the question. But it is worth asking yourself some honest questions:

• Would you be willing to introduce a trans woman to your friends and family?
• Are you interested in her life, her work, her thoughts, beyond her body?
• Do you respect her boundaries, including not wanting to discuss her transition?
• Do you see her as a potential partner, not as an experience to try?

If the answer to these questions is yes, you are not a chaser. You are a person attracted to a woman who happens to be trans.

Building an authentic relationship

Attraction is a starting point, not a destination. If you are interested in dating or building a relationship with a trans woman, there are some things that research and the experience of trans communities suggest.

Educate yourself before asking her

Trans women are not walking encyclopedias on trans issues. Before asking questions about transition, hormones, or surgical procedures, educate yourself on your own. Resources like this website exist for exactly that purpose. Do not ask a trans woman on a first date to explain what being trans means: it is an emotional burden that is not hers to carry.

Do not hide her

The study by Iantaffi and Bockting (2011) showed that trans women experience particular distress during the phase when the partner hides the relationship [7]. If you are not ready to publicly acknowledge that you are dating a trans woman, perhaps you are not ready to date her. Secrecy communicates a clear message: “I am ashamed of you.” No healthy relationship can survive that message.

Her being trans is not the center of the relationship

In a functional relationship with a trans woman, the fact that she is trans is one of many things about her, not the dominant theme. Just as you would not build an entire relationship around your partner’s eye color, you cannot build it around her gender identity. There will be moments when the topic comes up — medical issues, social situations, episodes of discrimination — but it should not be the only thing you talk about.

Listen and respect boundaries

Every trans woman has a different relationship with her body, her history, and the way she wants to be seen. Some trans women are open about discussing their transition, others are not. Some have had certain procedures, others have not, and it is not your business until she decides to share. Respect for boundaries is not optional: it is the foundation.

Prepare for external stigma

Gamarel et al. (2019) demonstrated that interpersonal stigma affects both partners, but that a strong sense of mutual commitment in the couple mitigates psychological distress for trans women [6]. If you decide to build a relationship with a trans woman, you may encounter judgments, inappropriate comments, and misunderstanding from family or friends. Knowing in advance that this can happen — and having a plan to face it together — is part of the necessary emotional preparation.

What truly matters

Attraction to trans women is not a deviation, a fetish, a phase, or a secret to take to the grave. It is a human experience that concerns millions of people, most of whom never speak about it out loud for fear of stigma.

If you are reading this article, you have already done something many do not: you sought to understand. You questioned the shame, sought information, and tried to distinguish between what you feel and what society tells you to feel.

Trans women are women. Attraction to them is attraction to women. The difference between healthy attraction and fetishism lies in how you see the other person: as a complete human being or as a category to consume.

Choose to see the person. Everything else follows.